What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Cynthia Erivo Stuns in a Sculptural Beaded Corset at the Tony Awards 2025 - instyle.com

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Its year 2041, and president Hunter Biden has ordered every republican who sweared at him to be arrested and shot. I am on my way to the death row listening to the cheer of the Liberal mob chanting death death death. How can I escape?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Is it true that Jehovah's witnesses once thought the world would end in 1975?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Is it legal for an employer to ask why you are taking time off from work?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

During the Atlmark incident in 1940, the Brit war criminals violated Norwegian neutrality. Hitler could then justify invading Norway. Have the Brits ever apologized for violating Norwegian neutrality?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

What is the sum of X+XX+XXX+XXXX?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Can you explain the difference between being a conservative Republican and a liberal Democrat? Can you provide some examples of their ideologies?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.